Granted, I did got to bed last night, which would explain my early blog. I did go to bed about 9:30 last night, I think. I knew it was shortly after I got off work. So this weekend has taught me a lot of things. Don't get drunk at parties. Don't have conversations with chicks who look like they wanna make out with you. They will usually try. And Smack a Bitch Who tries to put his hands on you (gotta try that out.... next time...)

I probably should be working out. But I ate breakfast instead & decided to write about my life. I've got all day to work out. I'm hoping to soon see that new Tim Burton film that just came out, if only I can get someone to go with me.

I've been hoping to clear the air with Harvey. I really want him to know that I care about him. Perhaps I haven't thought about his perspective enough. I mean, I've been thinking about his feelings. But I haven't been tryin' to think about what's going through his head. I imagine if I had lost someone i'd been with for that long no matter the circumstance I'd be an sabsolute wreck. I'm still amazed he's able to show up to work on time. I've just really been making an effort to try to make him more comfortable around me. This will perhaps involve us getting drunk together. Maybe we should celebrate something. Idk, it's sketchy. Idk how to navigate this situation, tho I imagine he hasn't been in one like this anymore. 1. a former gf that doesn't hate him. 2. a dead one. 3. and dealing with a bunch of other heavy shit. I think maybe i'm focusing on this too much. Maybe I should just let it alone. But I don't want him to think I don't care. He said to not worry about it.
I try so hard. But it's really difficult . I'm trying to care without worrying.

Ugh. Work was work. I had to stay longer when I was supposed to clock out. They've been more strict lately & been enforcing a new policy on not clocking out or in 7 mins b4 or after ur shift to avoid "sloppy punches" as they call it. I came from church & i think someone asked me if I was going to a funeral cuz I was wearing all black (which there's nothing wrong with).

So far I've accomplised watching 32 Strongbad emails in 3 days. 1-6 on day 1, 10-28 on day two. & 30-32 today so far, which might change. I'm really excited to go back to college. This year should be one of awesome change for me.

It's bad enough I have to face my ex now. I've been nice. I've been saying Hi to him. I don't want him to think I hate him cuz. I hate callin' him my ex. Just cuz I miss my friend. I'm disappointed that I can't comfort him now that he's all miserable now. It's like his shit's so heavy to deal with it he just can't be around ppl. That was never the point before. I never cared what I was to him. Whether it was a fuck buddy, or a friend w/ benefits, a gf, or just a friend. I wanted him to be happy. To be around him & contribute to his life. We never hang out anymore. I think he was starting to see me as an obligation & he can't handle it right now. I'm going to assume he doesn't hate me & that he assumes I hate him, lol. IT'll be ok. I know he needs understanding right now. I understand him so much right now it's not even funny.

I'm watching more SBEmails. It's pretty much the more entertaining part of the day.