I just cut my canker sore open & think it might be a mistake but then I drank a soda & it felt better. I spent thanksgiving with the pagans & they were fun except we had to deal with my bro who accused me of being a slut & tried to make me feel & look like a whore after I explained i was raped to a 14 year old girl & she had to know I wasn't a virgin otherwise. I think it's really lame he feels the right to blow my sexual history around the whole fuckin' room, stating he needs to "clear things up" then decides to threaten to beat the shit out of me right in front of the girl. It's retarded

You know when you have a series of dreams? Well a few weeks ago I had this dream that I had a baby girl (blonde) and I actually didn't gain much weight. Then I had a dream last night that I had her younger sister, also blonde. & I left them in a room for a short time, just to return to find them gone, the room was a little messy, but completely cleaned up & spotless! Where were they? I was looking everywhere! I looked in the room a second time, to discover they were in wastebaskets! My brother had put them there, wtf? I was furious at him! Even though the girls were ok, I was very upset that he would put my babies in the trash! They were less than 2 years, couldn't even talk yet. Tho there was no plastic in the containers the girls could choke on, it was the principal of the thing, You don't put babies in the trash! Even if You want to clean the room!

So I am going to another party soon. I am hoping it will be better than other ones. The last one is got super-trashed and couldn't go home. Rucker got all paranoid & didn't like lindsay take care of me. He's retarded. I am probably not gonna drink since i'm trying to cut back & i'm not spending money on any alcohol i like. My nose has been dripping like crazy & work drug on forever today.